> Summer time Daddy 4 years ago

Baby DJ 2 years ago….
The little girls 3 years ago Martha and Maci picking at eachother and Maggie just watching the show (that hasn’t changed)

Zachy and Andrew (friend) last year at camp, lip sync night

This summer with friends….. Sarah (12) and friend Morgan…

DJ faking out a summer time nap…and quick picture by big sister , bubble should say…”can I get popcicles for a nap?”

Summer love with Great Grandma 2005

Maggie Summer 2005- almost 5 yrs old

Summer 2005 Maci 7, DJ barely 1, Martha 7

Sweet Summer Time, that is where we are at. Laying in the pool, eating too much ice cream and the smell of bug spray mixed with sun screen, yummy.
I hated summers in Memphis, some of you may know that about me, until the recent years. Primarily, my summers were spent through out my life in Chicago with family and then I spent the school year in Memphis. The summers I did spend in Memphis didn’t hold a yummy feeling, so when I started raising my kids I wondered how I would change that. I still spend a lot of time in the Chicago area most summers, but more recently I have done a few things to build great memories with my kids. Night time swims for the teenagers and pre-teens, late overnights, loud country music and request for a song on the radio, cooking out and homemade pasta salad bring me comfort now. Watching each one of my babies learn to swim, a tiny white butt slipping into bed after a long day in the sun, snuggling late with my babues and sleeping in make me happy. Getting a tan (after a long time without one because for many years I had all babies), taking long trips to Panama City Beach, Florida at least twice a year, sitting on the porch with my sweet Donnie and watching the kids catch lightning bugs, these are the moments that make me smile. The smell of a little boy who is more like a wet puppy and girls trying out a talent show in the front yard make me who I am these days. Who I am is mostly at peace. I learned peace in the summer 4 years ago when my world crashed. I had to make a decision, to ruin memories for my kids with my pain and current struggles or take a deep breath, pray, and play, I opted for the latter. It changed me. This summer I am in a place again where I wonder often how am I going to make it through change and dealing with some old hurts, but because I have these memories I breathe easier through each moment. I have traded some of my favorite music for my kid’s stations, I have had to stay up late with the kids for midnight feedings again, only now it is pizza not nursing. I pray for them constantly not just for their health but their safety. Life has changed so much, but come back around in so many ways. Summer is a safe time, even a fun time for me now, making memories that are new, but so much like the ones I shared 20 years ago in Lombard, right here in Memphis.
Thanks kids. I can honor my past, and enjoy today.
Go thank your kids for the hope they bring today, and make a memory that is out of character.

>Sweet Sarah Kay, Ra Ra, Sarah Now, little momma, what ever you call her she is the 12 year old that is my right hand in this house. She paints my life sweet….Last night I had a moment of “ahhhhhh“, those are bitter sweet for me. Sarah painted Miss Marie’s nails, our sweet resident grandmother who has watched all of my children grow from babies to what they are now. She helped welcome them into the world, she swings with them on the front swing, she band-aids there boo boos when momma can’t or is to hard headed to think they need it. Miss Marie, catches kisses from Baby DJ in the front yard, cries over the lostness of our neighborhood while I rant about it. Miss Marie watched me loose to much weight when my life was scary, she hugged my neck and gave me hope. Miss Marie took my kids to VBS when I couldn’t and didn’t have the strength, she loves us as only a Miss Marie could. Sarah painted her nails. As I think about that I am happy and sad all at once. It makes me think of all that we have gained in the last few years and all that we have lost. There is part of me that doesn’t want to be close…to anyone, they die, or go away. My children have buried two of the most important people in the universe to our family in there short lives…. I think often of the time I am missing with my on family because of the damn economy and gas prices and I wonder sometimes, maybe wrongly, are relationships that are bound by time and space worth it. Of course, I know the answer, yes, but I hate the pain of missing people. I miss a lot of people this year, I miss people I will never see again like Don and Martha, I have questions to ask and things I need to know, like how do I raise this teen-age son that is so much like his father. I want to know how Martha made that darn near perfect sweet tea. I want to know why they were taken when we needed them so much. I want to be near my Grandma and Grandpa who bring me comfort when nothing else can. I miss my husband who is gone 10 days at a time with a new job. Bound by space and time, bound by these bodies that get older and steal the ones we love. I am not sad all the way around. I am grateful, I am even hopeful. I have a generation of Godly kids coming up, in a world that needs them. But I wish the people who I love and need could see it more closely. Thank you Miss Marie for letting Sarah Kay paint your nails. We need you.
I need to paint more days with memories and hope.