>Who knew that my talking about discipline in our home would generate so much conversation. I am grateful for those that publicly commented and intrigued by the private comments. Please remember this is how we do it in our home. If I begin to tell you how to do it in your home that would make me no different than the theology that we were hurt by. It may work for some, but not this momma….I am just not nice enough naturally to not get angry when it doesn’t work.
Over at Adventures in Mercy she wrote about the advice we can get online, without seeing the living out of this. There are so many families recovering from the same pain, because this is what we sought. That was dangerous for me, I got the advice and I ran with it, without first seeking the Word, my husband and the best interest of our family. I hurt people’s hearts and I judged harshly, I didn’t like me, because I was failing, constantly. I couldn’t be loving or understanding of anyone else. I just wanted a list that is the OCD part of me, having a cookie cutter life would be a comfort to me….maybe. It wasn’t so much that it was wrong *possibly*, its that it was wrong for us, or maybe being done for the wrong reasons….one may never know. The bottom line, this is IN OUR HOME….let me say it again In Our Home. The very same teaching for some has played out very differently In Their Home. God is good that way, we are not cookie cutter people. Today I am grateful for the walk out of what was legalism, in our home, the entire experience made me who I am today. This has changed the integrity of our family, the sanctity of our marriage and my relationship with the Lord. But for God’s grace it could have swallowed me alive. This is how we do it In Our Home. As folks peruse through all I have to say, I know I am wordy and opinionated, don’t make it a checklist for success in your home. Make your on life. For goodness gracious, if I had a check list for success, we would look more successful. Instead In Our Home, today, we just look like the Pikes…a family seeking God daily, hoping for a little more grace and hope on the journey, healing hearts and playing with babies….while trying to give a solid education. This is my story today, in our home.
What is your story today?

>A very important part to our home education journey is the way we correct children and ourselves in this walk. I am a work in progress and when I started the parenting journey, I didn’t have good sign post. I have always adored our children and have sought to give them a base in the Lord Jesus Christ, but I was angry. It seems like for years, I was angry, frustrated and feeling often like a failure. I accepted teaching that told me if I followed a certain *checklist* then we wouldn’t have conflict, our children would be just want to obey, naturally, and that if this didn’t happen…..you guessed it….us parents were doing something wrong. The result of this was someone had to be to blame, myself, my husband or our children. I was offered the advice that if I didn’t do it ‘this way’, I would have unruley, hellions, that could never serve God fitly. Discipline was just part of the list every part of our lives was touched by the theology. Often I would blame Donnie, after all if would just read the dog gone books himself he would understand. Next I blamed myself, “I am a bad ungodly mother,” I would say to myself. Finally, I would become increasingly loud, and unkind with our children, I was tired and discontented. Occasionally, I would get a glimpse of grace and would try to change, but I had been entrenched in the teachings. I had become legalistic. I was working my way to heaven, through my kitchen, my schedule, my discipline style….but I was mean.
Thank goodness for God’s grace. I lost everything, I came to the bottom of myself and God was there waiting with a sweet face to gaze into and I saw hope. It has been a few years and I am re-learning. I am climbing out of the pit of legalism, we are becoming a new family. Now, I have a teenager and some up and coming teenagers in addition to my pre–schooler. It is hard, the undoing of pain, is hard work. Bitterness set in at some point and healing is having to happen. I cry out loud and out to God often, “help me, fix this!”. He will, He is, He wants to. Kind words are healing to the bones, that is what the Proverbs say, I am believing it.
Healing to the bones, like salve to the heart. God is able, I am not, but God is. If you are stuck in pain and battle with your children, stop, look and listen, God may want to move you, release you, change you….it just may not be about the children.