>Sweet Sarah Kay, Ra Ra, Sarah Now, little momma, what ever you call her she is the 12 year old that is my right hand in this house. She paints my life sweet….Last night I had a moment of “ahhhhhh“, those are bitter sweet for me. Sarah painted Miss Marie’s nails, our sweet resident grandmother who has watched all of my children grow from babies to what they are now. She helped welcome them into the world, she swings with them on the front swing, she band-aids there boo boos when momma can’t or is to hard headed to think they need it. Miss Marie, catches kisses from Baby DJ in the front yard, cries over the lostness of our neighborhood while I rant about it. Miss Marie watched me loose to much weight when my life was scary, she hugged my neck and gave me hope. Miss Marie took my kids to VBS when I couldn’t and didn’t have the strength, she loves us as only a Miss Marie could. Sarah painted her nails. As I think about that I am happy and sad all at once. It makes me think of all that we have gained in the last few years and all that we have lost. There is part of me that doesn’t want to be close…to anyone, they die, or go away. My children have buried two of the most important people in the universe to our family in there short lives…. I think often of the time I am missing with my on family because of the damn economy and gas prices and I wonder sometimes, maybe wrongly, are relationships that are bound by time and space worth it. Of course, I know the answer, yes, but I hate the pain of missing people. I miss a lot of people this year, I miss people I will never see again like Don and Martha, I have questions to ask and things I need to know, like how do I raise this teen-age son that is so much like his father. I want to know how Martha made that darn near perfect sweet tea. I want to know why they were taken when we needed them so much. I want to be near my Grandma and Grandpa who bring me comfort when nothing else can. I miss my husband who is gone 10 days at a time with a new job. Bound by space and time, bound by these bodies that get older and steal the ones we love. I am not sad all the way around. I am grateful, I am even hopeful. I have a generation of Godly kids coming up, in a world that needs them. But I wish the people who I love and need could see it more closely. Thank you Miss Marie for letting Sarah Kay paint your nails. We need you.
I need to paint more days with memories and hope.

>This week at MUM, we took some play dough (thanks S. Howell) among other things and so many children there haven’t had much experience with play dough, another opportunity presented itself for these sweet kids. I must confess I don’t do much play dough, sometimes we receive it as a gift, I get all OCD about the colors being mixed and the mess. I have even been gifted with the homemade stuff on a number of occasions by people I love, and that makes me sentimental to top and I just don’t do good letting the kids enjoy it there way.

I hate a changed plan, last night I had the idea that I would see my sweet husband by 9pm until around 11 today….crazy I know, but just a little thought of mine. The darn need for sleep set in for him and he didn’t arrive to our bedroom until almost 3 am. He is resting now and the children are eagerly anticipating the time with him for even an hour before he leaves again. My plans were changed. I think that God has me in a spot. He is teaching me, molding me (always), but I am like dried out play doh…..crumbly, I smell a little salty, and I keep getting stepped on in the carpet. I would rather be like pliable home made dough (like my aunt Barbara makes)….then I could be shaped and moved, I would be the perfect color (that I chose of course), and when I was done re-shaping I could go back to my old blob in a zip lock baggie and popped into the bottom drawer of the fridge. Lord, help me be pliable, to accept what you give me in every season. Help me to be a pleasant experience even when I don’t feel like it, help me to shape to the time and space you have provided. Thank you Lord.