>Molecular Science and the Atomic Theory, Energy and Mass are all topics that are swirling around my mind and for that matter our conversations in our home this week. I am piecing together Chemistry, Nature Study, Creation, and Travel, while realizing that they are all connected, at least for me. As I reflect on the calling to travel, yes calling, I know that it is connected to my new found understanding of what is outside me and how it relates to changing me. The words are shifty and don’t paint a great picture of what I know is true and will quite likely ruffle feathers in any theology, not just my on. We are connected to all this stuff outside of us and how we deal with it and what we do with the things we learn and see has the opportunity, at the very least, to change us. I do not want the space I take up in the world to not be worthy of the great awe I have for my Creator, God, and what His Son did on the Cross, in order that I may fully experience, to the nth degree His creation and the energy that He put in us to fully experience all that He has for us. The more outside of ourselves we go to see, to really see the things around us, the more we can see what He is doing in us.
Consider this excerpt from a little charm I found through Ambleside Online ( a free curriculum I am using for my daughter), it only highlights what I lay awake thinking about at night…..

So use your eyes and your intellect, your senses and your brains, and learn what God is trying to teach you continually by them. I do not mean that you must stop there, and learn nothing more. Anything but that.There are things which neither your senses nor your brains can tell you;and they are not only more glorious, but actually more true and more real than any things which you can see or touch. But you must begin at the beginning in order to end at the end, and sow the seed if you wish to gather the fruit. God has ordained that you, and every child which comes into the world, should begin by learning something of the world about him by his senses and his brain; and the better you learn what they can teach you, the more fit you will be to learn what they cannot teach you. The more you try now to understand _things_, the more you will be able hereafter to understand men, and That which is above men. You began to find out that truly Divine mystery, that you had a mother on earth,simply by lying soft and warm upon her bosom; and so (as Our Lord told the Jews of old) it is by watching the common natural things around you,and considering the lilies of the field, how they grow, that you will begin at least to learn that far Diviner mystery, that you have a Father in Heaven.
Taken From Madam How and Lady Why-Preface-Charles Kingsley (check it out if you have a chance)

Such simple Ah Ha moments, that is what I keep having, taking me out of the limits I have put on myself to think that this is all I can ever do. Realizing, that these are limits I have constrained myself to, and opening my eyes and seeing the world around me is another micro-movement to the goal of seeing the world I must travel to.
Finding that I don’t and won’t have to step out of my calling as God Servant, Wife and Mother, to reach these goals, but now understanding that the things I want to do and see, the person I want to be and the things I need to do are an extension to the call of who God has created me to be in my various roles. I will be a more intent God Servant, a more energetic attentive Wife, and find more compassion and grace and hope in my Mothering, by moving out of what I know into more of what I am called to, inside of these roles.
This is what I am thinking about today.
These are the places and thoughts that are becoming part of my story, part of my family’s story.
I don’t fully understand, but I must put movement on the thoughts.
I must ‘Consider the Lillis of the Field’ to understand what God really has for me.
I just want to go see more fields than the ones within my immediate surroundings.

>My hopes for the new year come fast and furious…I have resolved not to make a resolution.
But I will get my passport.
Not a big deal to some, but a huge step for me.
I want to travel, my heart leaps, I get butterflies in my tummy, and a lump in my throat when I think about seeing the world. I do not long for the tourist experience or extravagance. Instead, I hope for going to neighborhoods, villages, homes, grocery stories and hole in the wall diners in places I have never been. The world is big and I need to see it.
As it stands traveling in this way is out of my socioeconomic reach, but we must all take a first step to our dreams.
My first step is a passport.
My second step is a dollar in a jar….
Micro-movements, that is what I am aiming for.
I do not believe this is out of my reach, in fact, I can almost put the tip of my longest finger on it.

The first time we visited the ocean, just a few years ago, I could taste before my eyes hit it, then I could smell it and feel it in the air, finally I could hear it, ultimately seeing it. In fact we ran to it with clothes on in February air on Clearwater Beach, Florida.
That was a chance trip that took us to Tampa Bay where I drove up and down the beach side drive, while frantically making phone calls (in order to not turn around on a quick overnight business trip), finding money from any account I had. They were phone calls of a woman with a need….to see things bigger than herself, outside of herself, but still a part of me.
Now I know what a daydream is.

I can not explain the burning in me that says we, our family, is meant for more than what we are doing, or being where we are, but it is there.
This year I will fan the flame, I will allow myself to feel it burning in my heart.
I will not push this to the side for fear of not seeing it come to fruition, instead, I will expect it to happen, make plans for it to happen, make small movements in the direction of it happening and not be surprised when I am at a different door step of the world watching it happen.
This is about me, about a desire I can’t explain.
This part of my story is part I am actually afraid of.
This part of my story comes from the same place in soul, my spirit, my mind that wants to drag out the paints and the sketch books and cameras.
This part of my life story is to be continued, but enjoyed more than imagined.
This is some crazy creative part of me that I am not used to or feel comfortable with so I must embrace this, not push it away.
My story in this way is selfish-all about me and how this will play out, but I know deep in my cells that it will change the story of our family, our home, this part of my story if I don’t fear the creative, exploring, adventurous part of my heart to move, will move us to a better place.
I will answer this call in my heart this year.
I will get a passport in 2009.