Thoughts from nearly 4 years ago as this momma was smack dab in the middle of healing from a devastating house fire that hurled me into healing from childhood….life is funny like that.

Dishes weren’t finished until after 10:30, I still have a 14 year old on screens and Love on the Table is egg bake, sliced tomatoes, slathered in mayo all generously sprinkled with salt and pepper. My interpersonal skills are lacking with my dripping sarcasm or complete disconnection, but my mom skills are on point. These kids all ate something tonight. I could almost certainly prove it , if only I could find their tiny brilliant selves. Having 3 mostly independent kids living at home gives quite the illusion that maybe I haven’t messed them up with all my too muchness or not enougness. Turns out they are turning out just as amazing as I could have imagined. We don’t do it proper and suck at keeping up appearances, but we land on our dancing feet whether it is a dirge of despaired days or jumping for joy we all dance together until we can stand alone in our crazy. Thank you family for never leaving me alone and knowing all the words to all the pains that are all bigger than our dog gone supper time can hold and you love me still and say it makes you better not worse and then i love you all over again. It is big enough to hold the pains and stories, mine and yours. Eternally grateful you are mine.

Thoughts: I fell on my face literally for hours Tuesday and Wednesday. Decided at 6 pm yesterday that I would claim rebuilding as a gift, literally and spiritually, yesterday. Realizing that the Lord began a good work 45 years ago and I’m his and anything he allows to be taken he will restore and any good gift I never had because of all my abuse and fire and life he would show it to me but that all the walls must come down to the studs to see new life and to see the framework he has in me that has always been there. I am grateful for you.

I am still healing and you are still welcome along for the ride.  Things are all together different and strangely the same. 

We all belong to each-other. We are connected to the ones we would want to have no connection with…the ones we judge or are embarrassed by…the stranger and the ones we have distanced ourselves from….we are connected because humanity belongs to one another.

The white, wealthy suit and the 20 something struggling, smells like smoke connected….immigrant and neo-nazi, connected. Non citizen middle schooler and mom on fund raising committee at the private school, connected.

Thought: rather than complain about someone living off the system be the system. Connect. Be with them. Show up. Help break the cycle.

Don’t just give that toy for tots or drop a quarter in a bucket…open your eyes and go take a meal and some toys and sit with them. Then do it again. Take someone to get some help. Become their person, their connection….love your people, people. We are eachothers. Live greatly anticipated between the advents.