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I realize that it is July, but feel the need to take you for a walk back to see a Saturday morning in May, May 15th to be persact. That was the Saturday I woke up in a puddle of tears, disolving my very carefully flavored coffee in to a hot mess. For me this was time for a melt down of an important sort. My kids had obviously started growing up……yes that is the melt down moment. Maci and Marti turned 12 on that friday, Sarah finished up middle school and made it clear she wasn’t looking back she is intending to be a freshman, DJ my last child to be doing pre-school is now in first grade and let us not fail to forget that Zachary my eldest snot earned his drivers license and rode off in his bought and paid for car (almost). I had tears to cry and I felt that I deserved them(did I fail to mention that all of these realizations hit me the last day of achievement test for the kids)

FASSSSSSSTTTTTTT Forward to June. June, June, glorious June….June is the month we prepare our precious little darlings for Camp Highland the best week of the entire year for many of us for all varied reasons. The diffrence for me this year is that I would have only one of my 6 kids left with me for almost an entire week…..just us and him. Oh, the things we could do, how would we fill all the time? I didn’t know and still don’t. What do families with just one child, God bless them, do with their time, please I need to be more productive and make better plans for our future.

This brings me to JULY, where I have now found myself squarely in the place of a momma with a son traveling on ministry trips that are getting further and further away, Paragould,Arkansa/Atlanta,Georgia2x’s/Independence,Belize….WAIT stop the presses THAT is in Central America, he has never even ridden in a plane before and now we let him drive a truck and ride a plane all in the same season. This is just to stinking ridiculous for one parent to handle, so why aren’t two of us handling this. Oh, my sweet Donnie you say? He is napping, sleeping well, and trusting that this whole parenting gig we have been doing for almost 17 years, just may take shape after all….the audacity of it all, him trusting and not worrying. I am not sure how all this is gonna turn out, but I need more kleenex and I will share the rest of the story when I can get it together enough to think clearly through a cotton commercial.

These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happiesat http://www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don’t share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

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At 11pm Friday night, I found myself serving up pancakes to 8 amazing teenagers, 3 pre-teens, and one darling 3rd grader, while my husband and youngest son slept soundly. It was a good night. I found myself squarely in the spot of being “that mom”, while hot rolling Sarah’s hair, ironing Zach’s shirt, shooing younger siblings and making last minute phone calls for corsages and meeting times. I was ‘that mom’ standing in front of my neighbors flowers taking pictures and having my throat tighten when all the dates arrived for more pictures. I love being that mom. Much of my Friday was exhausting, we went to the zoo, we stopped by the florist, picked up last minute groceries, made multiple phone calls all while reminding myself not to smile to broadly or let the kids see me cry. This is one of the many moments I imagined over the early years of raising so many little kids. Dance night with our children, First dates, Algebra 1, Baptism, College Plans, Middle School, Camp, are all events that I dreamed of and didn’t and don’t want to mess up. What I am learning every step of the way though is that these big moments in the big boxes are all made possible by so many little moments with small ribbons, tears, prayers, fasting, hope, hurt, healing, sleepy moments. Talks about what Jesus did on the cross, the length of a dress, the color of their hair, ear rings for the boys or not, babysitting jobs, television choices, music choices, van seat and dinner seat choices, big chore day and put your close away right now afternoons, all make up the moments and the really important times where I have found myself hugging my kids, being the momma of teenagers, pre-teens and a kindergartner all at the same time, tired and crying, sometimes fussing and occasionally cussing….but so grateful to be ‘that mom with all the kids’. Tomorrow is Monday and it is boring, Algebra1, Pre–Calc, 3rd and 5th grade math followed by easy addition and phonics. I will wrap it up with ballet and Love on the Table, but Mondays full of all the small moments wrapped in tiny boxes with so many choices will take me to my next big event….Mission trips to Belize, twins in Middle School, Sarah in High School, DJ hanging with big kids, Maggie and her achievement test, graduation, college, weddings and babies. I will handle the small moments with more care and honor the choices with love. On this day my story is bittersweet of holding on and letting go, knowing all the while that the richness of my life is proof that we don’t have the answers to know the outcome will be peace that passes all understanding. The proof is in the small moments in the little boxes wrapped with care.

These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at http://www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don’t share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.